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No without the Guilt

2023. Another year. Another beginning. Another chance to change and do better. Okay, so actually every day is another chance to change and do better but there is something about the start of a new year that makes wanting to make better choices more refreshing, more exciting. As I enter this new year the one word that is going to be a part of my change for a healthier life for myself, is the word ‘no’. But more specifically not inviting the guilt that often times accompanies with saying ‘no’. I am learning to let myself say no to things I don’t want to do or places that I don’t want to go, without the guilt. I’m learning to let certain people know that I am not always available for them. That there are certain things that they can do for themselves or learn to do for themselves, instead always relying on me to do it for them. I want to set better boundaries and start making my feelings more of a priority. And that’s more than okay.

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Health and Happiness

It’s been a long time since I posted anything here (over two years actually—cringe). I have been dealing with a constant cycle of anxiety and depression and these last two years have been one of the worse times. But I decided that I am done with it, and I was determined to gain back control of my life. After a short trip home in February,  I decided that I was ready to move back home to the states. I should have moved back years ago but due to a laziness that sometimes develops out of living comfortably or conveniently, I constantly tried to convince myself that I was better off living here. The reality is, I was living an unhappy life and in my opinion one with very little value. I wanted to be physically close to my friends and family. I wanted to be able to drive a few minutes or even a couple of hours to visit people. Older family members were only getting older, and some with declining health, and I didn’t want to miss out on spending more time with them. I also grew tired of the noisy, impatient, and selfish behavior that often plagues big, bustling cities like here in Seoul. I missed the quiet and easy pace of my much smaller hometown.

I have been taking steps to really start taking care of myself. From the end of April, I have been eating healthier and recording my calorie intake per day. I had also starting working out, three times a week initially, then daily after a couple of weeks. Sure, I had days where I binged or the weekends where I stayed home all day and sometimes skipped working out but I still felt good. Certainly much more better than I had been doing in the past two or three years. I was determined to get my happiness and health back. I have also been working on taking better care of my skin. I stopped using and keeping products that I didn’t enjoy using and I have created a skincare plan as a visual way to keep me on track as well. I have tweaked it a bit the past couple of weeks but for the most part I have been consistent with it.

I have also been better with my shopping habits. I realized years ago that I mostly shopped as a coping mechanism to my anxiety. Now I buy things that really need or if it’s something I want, I make sure I will use it and that it is of good quality.

As far as this blog is concern, I am planning on redirecting its focus, maybe making it a general blog. I’m working on a new header and maybe a new logo. I like my current logo but maybe with this refresh on life, it would be good to change it as well.